i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
