I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
