yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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