we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
