4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
