Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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