I'm eating all of the evidence.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
