You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
