They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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