i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
