just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
