I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
