Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
