It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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