Whats the glycemic index on semen?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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