they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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