I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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