he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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