yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
