i think my mom watched the whole time
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
