Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
