Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
