i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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