the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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