I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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