I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
