He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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