You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
