If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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