i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
