Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
