you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you have feelings for this penis?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize