We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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