I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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