you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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