fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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