Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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