Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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