literally had 100 drinks last night.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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