ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
