Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
