No stitches, just platelets and will power
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
