You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
