I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
