are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake