So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.