Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go

  (313): View more from Michigan

  You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf

  (734): View more from Michigan

  They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense

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  (734): I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go (313): You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf (734): They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense http://tfl.nu/1xi8
  Replies (2) Good night (1306) Bad night (564)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.

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  (250): i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week. http://tfl.nu/bxis
  Replies (12) Good night (674) Bad night (1407)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am

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  (641): i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am http://tfl.nu/xq9v
  Replies (30) Good night (5012) Bad night (626)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the day after is always just damage control

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  (208): the day after is always just damage control http://tfl.nu/ugvq
  Replies (6) Good night (1085) Bad night (2714)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.

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  (360): whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind. http://tfl.nu/pllx
  Replies (24) Good night (5492) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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  (651): The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing. http://tfl.nu/9cqq
  Replies (15) Good night (5162) Bad night (1042)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.

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  (562): I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here. http://tfl.nu/jxmt
  Replies (22) Good night (3499) Bad night (1110)
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  (+75): View more from

  It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more

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  (+75): It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more http://tfl.nu/60s4
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (2084)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

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  (213): You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick. http://tfl.nu/ma7b
  Replies (14) Good night (2829) Bad night (1016)
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  (424): View more from California

  Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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  (424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel
  Replies (10) Good night (1983) Bad night (691)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?

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  (850): Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean? http://tfl.nu/rbfp
  Replies (5) Good night (771) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...

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  (706): I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up... http://tfl.nu/4p4z
  Replies (8) Good night (1393) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

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  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1253) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.

  (254): View more from Texas

  That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka

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  (512): Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art. (254): That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka http://tfl.nu/nocy
  Replies (0) Good night (408) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"

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  (408): I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat" http://tfl.nu/81wz
  Replies (0) Good night (416) Bad night (188)

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