Texts From Last Night

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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...

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  (501): so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm... http://tfl.nu/bp9a
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.

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  (931): Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person. http://tfl.nu/od1c
  Replies (46) Good night (6906) Bad night (737)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.

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  (952): He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job. (320): Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud. http://tfl.nu/wke9
  Replies (38) Good night (7552) Bad night (619)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.

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  (425): Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away. http://tfl.nu/ldh5
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."

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  (410): Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down." http://tfl.nu/u1mc
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"

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  (620): It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish" http://tfl.nu/scbq
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

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  (847): Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets http://tfl.nu/vbys
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.

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  (901): I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko. http://tfl.nu/cca0
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.

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  (412): he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with. http://tfl.nu/jmfl
  Replies (13) Good night (5400) Bad night (1188)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"

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  (810): during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer" http://tfl.nu/avyg
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  (206): View more from Washington

  We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.

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  (206): We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face. http://tfl.nu/gmb1
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (1505) Bad night (393)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.

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  (440): Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits. http://tfl.nu/0lkb
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  (512): View more from Texas

  things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"

  (210): View more from Texas

  I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.

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  (512): things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over" (210): I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback. http://tfl.nu/pi9n
  Replies (4) Good night (301) Bad night (100)

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