Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
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She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..