I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i've created a new STD.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
