His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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