grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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