I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
