After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
