Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
