So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
