Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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