Just took my morning after pill in the library
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
NoShamevember. You game?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
