My sheets look like a crime scene.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
