ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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