just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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