It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize