i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
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What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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