We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
