So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize