I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
