Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
