do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
