Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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